In case you missed the latest sardonic insights from Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA, the other night he offered some important medicinal tips on obesity and restless leg syndrome. As always, the segment is sponsored by Prescott Pharmaceuticals, which made the eye drops that caused justice to go blind.
In an effort to lower costs for expensive lap band surgery, Prescott is launching the Vacsa band, which is the world's first external diet collar. Wrap it around your neck, pull very tight and constrict your esophagus so that eating becomes, well, nearly impossible. Weight loss made easy, yes? Side effects include facial bluing.
And for those concerned with the uptick in restless leg syndrome, Colbert points out that new research indicates restless hand syndrome can provide a salve. And so Prescott is marketing a pair of prostethic arms that frees you up "to go about your business while," he says, "you go about your business." As the slogan goes, you're in good hands with Prescott.
Unfortunately for Prescott, Colbert notes the drugmaker is being sued by the homeopathic conglomerate Vaxa International for unauthorized use of a trademark. And so Prescott will now market its products under the Vacsa name and, as Colbert notes, any similarity is purely axidental.